Victor R. Claveau, MJ
It appears that you may have misunderstood the conversation. Mixed marriage refers only to a sacramental union between a Catholic and any baptized non-Catholic. In the 1917 Code of Canon Law, it was referred to as marriage of mixed religion. Although the marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic is no longer an impediment in law (and no longer penalized when unlawfully contracted), it still is seriously prohibited and warrants the special pastoral care of the Church and the guidance of her law.
The Church, in her experience, is wisely reluctant to permit such a union, even in a more ecumenical contemporary society, since it is often harmful to the intimacy of the union and the happiness of the spouses, dangerous to the faith and sometimes the morals of the Catholic party and especially to the children because conducive to indifferentism. It is not as such forbidden by the divine law, except where there is true danger of perversion for the Catholic party and the offspring.
Mixed marriages have always been a vital concern of the Church. But today she is constrained to give even greater attention to them, owing to the conditions of the modern age. In the past, Catholics were separated from members of other Christian confessions and from non-Christians, by their situation in the community or even by physical boundaries. But all of this is changing.
Not only has the separation been reduced, but communication between and among people of different regions and religions has greatly developed, and as a result there has been a great increase in the number of mixed marriages in every country of the world. A contributing factor has been the growth and spread of civilization and industry, urbanization and consequent rural depopulation, migrations in great numbers, and the increase of exiles, as we might call them, everywhere.
What is the Church’s position on mixed marriages in general? It has not essentially changed since biblical times: The Church is aware that mixed marriages, precisely because they admit differences of religion and are a consequence of the division among Christians, do not, except in some cases, help in reestablishing unity among Christians. There are many difficulties inherent in a mixed marriage, since a certain division is introduced into the living cell of the Church, as the Christian family is rightly called. Moreover, in the family itself the fulfillment of the Gospel teachings is more difficult because of diversities in matters of religion, especially with regard to those matters which concern worship and the education of children.
Having said all of this, however, the Church is also conscious that people have a natural right to marry and beget children—hence the dilemma that needs to be resolved. The Church seeks to make such arrangements that on the one hand the principles of divine law are scrupulously observed and on the other hand the recognized right to contract marriage is respected.
Accordingly, the new provisions regarding mixed marriages are at once a tribute to the Church’s pastoral care of the faithful and a witness of her fidelity to the revelation bequeathed by the Savior.
Pope Paul VI issued Motu Proprio, Matrimonia Mixta, On Mixed Marriage, October 1, 1970, which stated in part:
1. A marriage between two baptized persons, of whom one is a Catholic, while the other is a non-Catholic, may not licitly be contracted without the previous dispensation of the local Ordinary, since such a marriage is by its nature an obstacle to the full spiritual communion of the married parties.
2. A marriage between two persons of whom one has been baptized in the Catholic Church or received into it, while the other is unbaptized, entered into without previous dispensation by the local Ordinary, is invalid.
3. The Church, taking into account the nature and circumstances of times, places and persons, is prepared to dispense from both impediments, provided there is a just cause.
4. To obtain from the local Ordinary dispensation from an impediment, the Catholic party shall declare that he is ready to remove dangers of falling from the faith. He is also gravely bound to make a sincere promise to do all in his power to have all the children baptized and brought up in the Catholic Church.
5. At an opportune time the non-Catholic party must be informed of these promises which the Catholic party has to make, so that it is clear that he is cognizant of the promise and obligation on the part of the Catholic.
6. Both parties are to be clearly instructed on the ends and essential properties of marriage, not to be excluded by either party.
7. Within its own territorial competence, it is for the bishops’ conference to determine the way in which these declarations and promises, which are always required, shall be made: whether by word of mouth alone, in writing, or before witnesses, and also to determine what proof of them there should be in the external forum, and how they are to be brought to the knowledge of the non-Catholic party, as well as to lay down whatever other requirements may be opportune.
8. The canonical form is to be used for contracting mixed marriages, and is required for validity, without prejudice, however, to the provisions of the decree Crescens Matrimoniorum, published by the Sacred Congregation for the Eastern Churches on February 22, 1967. (9)
9. If serious difficulties stand in the way of observing the canonical form, local Ordinaries have the right to dispense from the canonical form in any mixed marriage. But the bishops’ conference is to determine norms according to which the said dispensation may be granted licitly and uniformly within the region or territory of the conference, with the provision that there should always be some public form of ceremony.
Since the percentage of mixed marriages in some countries is exceptionally high, approaching one half of all the marriages that Catholics enter, these directives of the Church are bound to have widespread implications. Doctrinally there is no problem. The essence of a matrimonial contract is the mutual exchange of consent between the contracting parties. If they are both baptized, whether professed Catholics or not, they certainly receive the sacrament of marriage and with it the title to all the graces that Christ confers on those who marry in his name. Since marriage is a “sacrament of the living,” the graces of the sacrament demand the right disposition of soul. A person must be in the state of grace to receive the sacrament fruitfully.
A couple, therefore, preparing for an interfaith marriage need to know the difference between receiving a sacrament only, and receiving also the extraordinary blessings that Catholics believe are attached to the sacrament. Hence the value of both parties to such a marriage making their peace with God, by whatever means each believes are effective, before pronouncing the marriage vows.
Mixed marriages are generally frowned upon by churchmen who are not Catholic. The heart of the matter is concern about the encroachment of an “authoritarian” Church into the lives of their people. Responsive to this concern, the Catholic Church sincerely wishes to avoid giving needless offense to those who are Christians, in deed, but not Roman Catholic. Thus, the new approach is to place the burden of responsibility on the shoulders of the Catholic partner to the marriage. He or she declares the readiness “to remove all dangers of falling away from the faith,” and is “also gravely bound to make a sincere promise to do all in his power to have all the children baptized and brought up in the Catholic Church.”
What the Church cannot dispense from is the obligations of the divine law affecting the Catholic party and his or her children. No one can give a dispensation from the duty of remaining loyal to the Catholic faith or the correlative duty of sharing this faith with flesh-and-blood offspring. Enlightened charity never has to compromise with the truth.