How in the world, you may wonder, did the name of such a pious Christian and Catholic martyr as St. Valentine ever become associated with the lover’s letters known as Valentines? Why is it that on St. Valentine’s Day lovers send messages all done up in fancy cards? What connection do these greetings have with the great St. Valentine, priest and martyr?

Some say there is no connection, except the fact that this man of God who lived in the third century just happened to be martyred on February 14. However, there seems to be more to it than that. We might suggest that love is very much like martyrdom; in love man gives his all, just as in martyrdom, he gives his all. Further, love has its pains, which are not unlike those of martyrdom. Seriously, there is a connection.

On February 14 in ancient Rome, it was the custom of boys to draw lots from a huge container the names of girls with whom they were to be partners in the various forms of celebration. Should John draw the name of Mary, then John and Mary were partners in all the festivities in honor of the goddess of that day. This was a haphazard, hit and miss method of finding a companion. It was blind dating on a huge scale. It wasn’t very satisfactory to the boys and girls; it was too often an additional occasion for ugly immorality in already deeply immoral Rome.

The Catholic priests of the time condemned the custom as too promiscuous, too likely to lead to sin. They tried to Christianize the custom. They tried to give the boys and girls a clean, healthy, Christian view of dating and marriage. Foremost in this effort was St. Valentine.

At that time also, Rome was embroiled in many wars, which dragged out so long that many Roman citizens were unwilling to go into battle. The married men did not want to leave their families; the engaged openly rebelled against leaving their sweethearts. It was growing more difficult to recruit an army.

Hearing this, the emperor, Claudius the Cruel, decreed that for some time there should be no more marriage ceremonies. Not only no more weddings, but those engaged must break off their engagements.

Father Valentine felt sorry for the young people. He was particularly sad at the thought of the complete moral collapse this would bring about among the young. If they could not be married, they would live as married people without the wedding, without the solemn pledge that they would be true to each other. One day, Father Valentine secretly united in holy matrimony a couple who came to him for that purpose.

Others heard, came, and were married. These young people wanted to do the right thing; they wanted to have the blessing of Almighty God on their union: they wanted to enter the solemn contract that is the wedding ceremony. Soon there were as many weddings in Rome as if there had never been the senseless decree against them.

When these things came to light, Father Valentine was seized by the Roman authorities, was sentenced to be beaten with clubs, then to be stoned, and finally to be beheaded outside the Flaminian Gate, which for a time was called the Gate of Valentine. He was martyred on February 14, in the year 270, seventeen hundred and forty-one years ago. His day of death does have some connection, for the reason just mentioned, with the modern celebration of St. Valentine’s Day.

While it is not harmful for us to observe the day with non-religious gestures, it is important that we do not lose sight of the fact that Valentine’s Day is a religious festival.

The heart is a favorite emblem of the Catholic Church. It is traditionally believed to be the center of all emotions and feelings. At least it registers those feelings. We Catholics have a special devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, the heart that throbbed with love for every one of us, the heart that burst with love of us.

May I suggest that we make all our human love harmonize with that Divine Love? May I urge that we put our hearts in tune with the Divine Heart? May I recommend that on St. Valentine’s Day we put the Heart of Jesus Christ, that is the love of Jesus Christ, in the center of all our earthly loves?

Jesus died out of love for St. Valentine, just as Jesus died for every one of us. St. Valentine in turn died for the love of Jesus Christ. Yes, send Valentines on St. Valentine’s Day, but don’t forget that there is a Divine Heart that would like to be your Valentine. To that Divine Heart we can say with all reverence: “Jesus, be my Valentine.”